When reason and cultural conditioning collide...

Kristian and I have been shopping for wedding rings.  We found one yesterday that I really love: it's white gold with three lines etched into it that terminate in different points in a round, clear sparkly stone.  I love it because it has that simple, graphic quality that I love in modernist abstract art.  But in Croatia, those clear sparkly stones you find in jewelers are virtually NEVER diamonds: they're "zircons" (which sounds only slightly better than "cubic zirconia").  But, since all rings are made-to-order, Kristian asked how much it would be for diamonds, and it would be only 50 euro a diamond more.  Feeling flush, Kristian avowed that his woman should have whichever she wants.

But I don't know WHAT I want.  Ethically and economically, the zircons make more sense.  It seems frivolous to spend even 150 euro (that's more than a months' rent) just to have stones that came out of the ground instead of a lab.  (I say that not because I'm trying to pose ad being not materialistic--unfortunately, I am--but because my materialism tends away from jewelry toward clothes and travel).  Moreover, diamonds are frequently mined using slave labor.  In the States, you can get diamonds certified to have been mined by paid laborers, but the methods for obtaining those certifications are notoriously corrupt even there, and here.....well, let's just say the government doesn't even regulate the well-being of the Roma within its own borders, so how much less the well-being of slaves in other countries? A few months ago, Jessie sent me this amusing Onion article satirizing the diamond trade: she sent it to me at the time to make me feel smug about my diamond-free engagement ring, but if I get a wedding ring with diamonds, I sort of deserve it for a different reason.

Ethics and economics aside, sitcoms and movies I've seen since childhood have ingrained the idea into my mind that a wedding ring with zircons instead of diamonds reflects the cheap and artificial nature of the relationship.  Think about it: diamonds are forever....zircons are for scrubs and old ladies watching the Jewelry channel.  Yes, it's silly, but one thing that living overseas teaches you is that, silly or not, cultural prejudices aren't erased easily.  How many readers of this blog spent years paying for a diamond ring that has to be insured? How many men dream of buying expensive, sparkly presents for their wives or girlfriends?  (not that I want to discourage that.....) Why?  Why does love, for so many Americans, need an expensive symbol that wastes money and contributes to the sum total of suffering in the world?

Well....it sounds like I've talked myself out of getting diamonds in my ring.  But I won't be able to talk myself out of feeling slightly embarrassed about TELLING people my ring has cubic zirconia in it.  Oh, well.  One step at a time...